Simply Put

The smoke engulfs your face as you stare at me in utter disgust. You've pleaded me so many times to quit smoking. I did. So many times. But I'm tired of listening to your addiction to appearances. If you have that, then I have cigarettes.

***

I gaze out from our window watching raindrops snail their way down. You promised to take me out tonight. You forget everything, Raghu. The first time we met, the first time you kissed me, the first time we had sex, the first surprise I gave you..I bet you've forgotten our first date. Do you know that I still remember the lunch you cooked for me? How you were amused that I bought the cheaper watch when I could've milked you clean? Funny, how I was more concerned about you than the abortion or the watch, for that matter. God knows, who you were screwing someone else when I was in the hospital! Now? I wait for you while listening to the sky crying for me. The sum of all my tears.

***

I think of the love you left behind. It breaks my heart to see you lying in that ice casket. I still cannot believe I saw you dead. It's been 4 years since your death and I still remember you like you are there. Odd how when I talk to your wife, I except you to be there waiting to talk to me. I miss you with an ache inside me. Still.

***

The farther I get from you, the more difficult it becomes to show affection. I wish you knew that. How is it that you do not love me the way I want you to? How is that you don't seek to understand me as deeply as I dig? Why is it that you're always too drunk to listen to me? You don't want to catch up. You say you miss me and I refuse to believe you. Coz if you did, you'd act like it. Simple as that.