My mind has been clouded the past few weeks. I'd like to blame it on the blistering sun except I know it's a bad excuse. I've been angry, angry and then a little more angry. I never thought I could manage that much anger. I've gone from slamming plates, to screaming, to storming into my room, to calling people names, to giving the cold shoulder, to curling into a little ball, to belittling people, to even taking it out on my dog. My mind is clouded and blinded. I'm not thinking straight.
What brought me back to sanity was something as trivial as finding the receipt for the shopping we did today. The father was supposed to be the one with the receipt. I needed to exchange my pants. He couldn't find the receipt, my mom didn't have it which just made me angry as hell. I started bickering, bitching, growling and glowering at my father. The poor man quietly withstood the verbal lashing. I was like a mad dragon firing scathing words at my father. I went for my swim to cool off. I walk into my room afterwards and happen to look into my handbag. What d'ya know? I had the receipt all along. I still can't recollect how and when did I take the receipt from my father. That's how blind my mind has become.
Apologies and shame followed immediately. However, the fact remains. I was irrational and my verbal attack at my father was unwarranted. It took something as petty as a shopping receipt to bring me back to the reality of things. I need a break. I need to center myself. I need to breathe deeper. Gosh. I need to slay a few of my demons!
